back with failure

I am back to the mainland china now... With a failure in the speech contest. I only felt that I am out of luck this time to survive. Everything has to be done by myself. and it was extremely hard to control myself when I was standing on the stage giving the speech. I did as bad as I can... The motherfucking travelling around Macao ended up in vain too.. I got no friends and has to kill the long day by myself hanging out with no destination at all... I am back and I gotta live on with the huge shame... Fuck them up!